Today my godsister told me that her aunty's husband passed away out of a sudden. Well this is an unexpected as he just happily visited Sandakan and returned to Johor Bahru. This case reminded me about my brother.
Yes, I used to have an elder brother but he passed away for about 5 years ago. Time pass really fast that I don't even notice that he had left us for about 5 years. I still remember clearly the scene when I visited him in the hospital once I arrived in Sandakan. My heart feels pain and the pain somehow cannot be explained easily until you feel it urself. My brother used to be a very healthy person and looking at him with hurts everywhere sleeping on the bed makes me feel hoping that it was a dream! I just cant bare to see him suffering like that. He had to depend on the machine to help him breathing and he can never open his eyes. I talked to him, I am not sure if he can listen to me as the doctor told me that he was unconcious but I can see tears from the edge of his eyes. I just feel miserable and do not what to do.
I went home after that and once I reached home, papa came to hug me and cried. I never see my papa cry and that was the 1st time. I saw my mummy sitting quietly in the sofa that i knew she must be feeling helpless and do not know what she can help his son. From that moment, I knew that I must be strong to support both of them or else no one can help them. And from that day, my status in the family change as well. I seems to become the leader of the house that whatever they do or plan to do must get a supportive remark from me.
My brother suffered in ICU for about 2 weeks before he pass away. I am still Ok with this because at least he slowly let me accept that he failed in the battle. I can see that he suffered a lot too or maybe to let him go was the best for him. I have tried so hard to make him awake but it just in vain. Until today, I do not know how did the accident happen and the policeman is just useless. I really do not expect much from them but they are really terrible.
From this incident, I did learned some lessons.
1) Do not waste time to seek help from buddhist bomoh. I do not know how should I address them, but I do really think they just like bomoh. What they told me seems so stupid and do not bring any help at all. I still did what as instructed by them because my brother's girlfriend and my brother himself is a buddhism. I am just trying to respect what they had believe so far.
2) Good friends are like precious. We have lots of friends and neighbours came to our house to ask about the progress. My brother's accident was out in the local newspaper and seems like it was the HOT topic during that time. For those who came and ask about the progress, I can see that some do no feel sad at all. They just came to see how suffer or how unhappy we were.
3) I should believe in GOD and seek for his help. Due to my brother is a buddhism, I was ashamed to seek help from GOD.
4) Live as it there is no tomorrow. I know this sounds weird but I am just trying to say that we should live our life happily and do something for yourself. Do not think that you are young enough to delay ur dreams or you still have lots of time to spare. Accident happens anytime. You will definitely regret!
5) Love your family more. I was regretted that I do not spend enough time to care my brother.
I just hope he is happy in his world now.
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